Stanley Cup Final Game 5: Puck Daddy’s Postgame Awards

(Ed. Note: We’re changing things up for the Stanley Cup Finals. Instead of writing Three Stars as we normally do on game night, we’ll be handing out some postgame awards.)

First Star: Martin Jones, San Jose Sharks

If it wasn’t for the goaltender, the Sharks would be done and gone. After giving up two goals in 22 seconds in the first, he did the proverbial ‘standing on the head’ to keep his team in it making 44 saves. Check out what could be one of his highlight reel ‘Saves of the Stanley Cup Final’ on Nick Bonino.

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Worst Star AND Best way to jinx a win: NBC

The U.S. rights holder went all in for the introduction to the game, waxing nostalgic about the athletes and champions from the city of Pittsburgh, and how the Penguins would be the first champions since the 1960 Pirates to claim the title in their own city. Mind you, the puck hadn’t even been dropped yet.

It took them approximately five minutes to mention the other team that happened to be playing.

Best way for NBC to totally redeem themselves with Sharks fans and series neutrals alike:

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Best example of why Mike Milbury should stop trying to make jokes:

In the pregame, host Liam Mchugh phrased a question around Pete Deboer’s paraphrased quote of ‘dancing with the girl they brought to the dance.’

Milbury answered as such,”Well his date looks like she needs hairbrush [sic] and a little perfume in the women’s room because she’s looking a little haggard right now are the Sharks.”

Best guess of what Brent Burns said to his teammates this morning:

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Doc’s reference to the Pittsburgh Pirates: He did the voiceover for the NBC introduction, but that doesn’t count. His in-game reference was about the current Pirates watching the game in the clubhouse and waiting to travel. The Pirates received the message and responded in kind:

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Best Snapchat filter for Doc before he yells, “OH WHAT CHAOS?!” during the broadcast

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Best way to make new friends: Take a selfie with Steelers wide receiver Antonio Brown and a bunch of other people in the restroom.

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Best example of something that would be baseball players on the DL for three months: We love to hate the officials, but they’re as tough as they come. Didn’t even miss a call.

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Best of the worst of Pierre McGuire:

“What a hockey play by everyone involved.” (We couldn’t even tell you what happened. It wasn’t related to a big goal, play or save.)

“Logan Couture, his skill is excessive. He played for Brian Kilrea.”

Our own Josh Cooper called out this unnecessary junior reference, and the ‘M’ in Marek vs. Wyshynski, Jeff Marek, followed up with a WAY BETTER factoid about Couture.

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The final whistle blew and a scrum broke out between the two teams. Pierre claimed it went back to PLAYER X and PLAYER Y playing in RANDOM JUNIOR LEAGUE for TEAM X and TEAM Y. Considering most of the men involved were in their late-20s to mid-30s… yeah that’s probably not the reason there was a dustup

After the game, Pierre got his one-on-one with Couture. He started the interview off with a question that was so enthusiastic, so dumb, and so Pierre.

“You looked like a man on a mission. When did you decide to come with that kind of game?”

Couture gave a smirk and a bit of a laugh with his response, “I guess tonight.”

Best way to show you’re a true fan: Even when the game is over, you refuse to leave to beat traffic.

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Best way to make Biggie roll over in his grave: Have a bunch of pasty hockey fans tweet and say, “WE’RE GOING (GOING) BACK (BACK) TO CALI (CALI)” in reference to the series going back to San Jose.

Best prediction we’d like to see come true:

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Best chirp of the night: From retired Stanley Cup winner Andy McDonald

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Best picture presented without context: